How I Turned Into The ‘Yes, I Can!’ Guy

When faced with hurdles, most of us often find ourselves in a rabbit hole, surrounded by negative energy, pessimistic feelings and obstructive attitude. However, boosting one’s self-confidence is dead easy, if one knows the right way. You will find hundreds of articles on the net listing out various measures and steps to boost your confidence but I’ll list out the 8 tested points which helped me rock my self-confidence sky-high. And you don’t need to do all of them, as if this were a recipe … pick and choose those that appeal to you, maybe just a couple at first, and give them a try. If they work, try others. If they don’t, try others.

  1. Working Out– This has been a game changer for me. I can’t stress enough on this point and how much it has helped me mould me into a pragmatic human being. Guys, when you exercise, several neurotransmitters such as Dopamine and Oxytocin are  secreted by the brain.  Dopamine has been associated with pleasure and reward. Though it’s named the ‘feel-good’ hormone,it helps you feel awesome about yourself! Oxytocin is called the love and bliss hormone, which helps you spike your confidence levels and battles those frequent mood swings. Hence working out is one of THE best methods to boost your self-esteem.
  2. Groom Yourself- When you look good, you automatically start to picture yourself into as better environment, replicating several positive scenarios in your head, that gives that morale the much-needed boost. Identify your niche. Try out various outfits, hairstyles, beards or even a simple piercing (at the appropriate places!) and find out which suits your style the best. Go on sporting that look, and see those heads turn on the street!
  3. Be Your Own Critic– As someone has rightly said, the best help which you can get is at the end of your own arm. No one knows your flaws better than you. Single out your weaknesses and start working on them day by day. Don’t let anyone talk you down. Iron out those shortcomings by daily practice, working on them one by one, all the while being in the positive and motivated. It’s exactly like climbing a ladder, the more lacunae you overcome, the higher you climb in the social pedestal and the more you start to cherish yourself.
  4. Talk To Yourself– Try this while looking in a mirror. It might feel ridiculous at first but after sometime, it will be amongst the best tools in your arsenal to battle that low-self esteem. Talk about your problems and how you plan to overcome them at the earliest. Look yourself in the eye and praise yourself if you did an extra rep in your workouts, or if you were able to overcome that math problem which you were pondering over the last many days, or simply because you look good- it warrants no specific occasion.
  5. Set Small Daily Goals Instead Of Big Targets- You know how mountaineers climb the mountain, right? They don’t just pop over at the top in one night, it involves trekking small distances everyday to eventually reach the summit. Similarly, set daily targets for yourself, no matter however minuscule they are. The thing here to keep in mind is, if you look at task as a complete whole, it might seem too big and very difficult. However, if you break it into several small parts,and start tackling them individually on a daily basis, no sooner you will find that you have mastered it! Think of it as eating a pizza; eating small slices of pizza one at time obviously seems as a more convenient task as compared to devouring it whole!(at least for most of us, if not all! )
  6. Cut out the negativity– It’s very important to train your mind in the optimum environment, and for that, you need to squeeze out all the defeatist and gloomy energies from your vicinity. Cut those toxic people out who try to demean you or belittle you everyday, for such people don’t have your best interests at heart. They act speed-breakers in your development process, and when you are going at jet-speed you don’t need no speed breakers, ain’t it?
  7.  Do what you love doing This is kind of a clichéd fact. Doing what you love immediately makes you happy. Be it playing a musical instrument, or listening to songs or walking by the pond, or simply completing a book- such activities instantly make you feel in a secured environment, and take your mind off your problems. Like for me, I like writing blogs !
  8. Be knowledgeable – When you get to know how things work around you, it gives you an immediate sense of happiness and pride. Stay abreast with the current affairs and the news. Develop a inquisitive mind, start to questions your environment- how does the petrol make my car run; how is my government functioning or are the stock markets really a magical realm where everyone churns out tons of money, and if so, why shouldn’t I teach myself to do the same? Remember, the more informed you are, the lesser problems you will find yourself in.

This isn’t an exhaustive list, there may be many more which I am yet to explore, but these are effective enough to bring out the change which you are looking for. Along with these, sport a smile as often as you can, stay in a positive sense of mind while encountering a hurdle and surround yourself with people who make you feel good about yourself. Remember- problems are the cinder-blocks, upon which you build your castle of fortitude. Feel fortunate that you have been besieged with an obstacle,for God seems you worthy enough to conquer it and come out flying!

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The Impromptu Karma

When you’re as tall as 6 feet 2 inches, travelling by a train will always be a challenging task. That’s why I used to book an upper berth in advance for a comfortable journey.

In the year 2013, I was travelling back to Allahabad from my hometown Patna to resume my college after the vacations. It was an eight hour non-stop journey starting at 11 p.m. Due to the short duration, the train had no pantry. Just as I got comfortable in my seat in a 2nd tier AC coach, an old lady with her husband entered the compartment and sat on the seat across mine.

They began talking and I hardly paid any attention to it. I had my headphones on and was listening to music. Minutes later, I saw concern on the couple’s face and got curious. I removed my headphones to listen to what they were worried about.

The old lady had recently undergone a hip surgery. Her seat was next to me in 2nd tier AC, but due to some mistake while filling in the reservation slip, her husband’s seat was booked in the Sleeper Class. She was scared about travelling alone as she wasn’t even able to get up or move without someone’s support.

Her husband kept asking her to calm down and told her it would be okay, but she would just not listen. The train was yet to start. When I realized the problem is serious, I don’t know why I did this, but I approached them and offered them my seat. Obviously, they were surprised by this offer and politely declined it. I insisted and a while later, they agreed.

I remember that comfort and gleam the old lady had in her eyes. I am yet to see a wider grin than the one she had on her face. The couple blessed me a hundred times and it felt quite rewarding to see the happiness on their faces. That old uncle and I went to the T.T.E. to get the seats exchanged.

I gave my phone number to uncle and asked him to call me in case if there’s any issue or emergency. I picked up my luggage and proceeded towards S2 (the coach where uncle’s berth was). The seat was 7 coaches away, and I had to drag my luggage all the way. When I reached, it dawned upon me that it was the berth I dreaded the most — Side Upper!

I sighed and kept looking at the seat for a few seconds. I knew that the night was going to be tough now. But I was still okay, and thought, ‘It’s just one night. I’ll eat and try to sleep.’

After arranging my luggage and washing my hands, I sat on the upper berth to eat. I opened the bag only to realize that I had forgotten my dinner pack in the car. In the DAMN CAR!

So here I was, a 6 feet 2 inch guy, lying on a side upper berth with legs almost penetrating the roof of the train, on an eight hour non-stop journey. I was sweating profusely in the humid weather, famished, and had nothing to eat. I was prepared to survive on the half a bottle of water that I had.

At around 12:30 a.m., when I was trying hard to sleep, I saw that old uncle approaching towards me. I thought there might have been some issue with the seats. I immediately got down and rushed towards him. I told him that he should have called me on my phone instead of coming all the way. He smiled and asked me to sit.

He got through train’s vestibules between AC and Sleeper Class that were luckily open. I noticed that he was carrying a big tiffin box and said that he came to offer me food. He had walked through seven coaches just to do that. This felt a lot more special because I was in need of food, and he appeared like a savior. Initially, I tried to refuse, but he insisted and said that his wife has sent the idlis with a lot of love and affection.

Like an elder in the family, he told me he wouldn’t leave until I eat all the idlis and sambar. The tempt and hunger took over, and I began devouring the idlis, and while I did that, uncle and I talked about our lives. He told me how his wife slipped on the oil spilled kitchen floor and fractured her hip. He talked about his eldest son, who worked in a bank and that they were going to his place for a couple of weeks.

We also discussed about my college, my education and about my parent’s profession. The idlis were great and so was the conversation I had with him. I thanked him for the food and he left for his berth. We even exchanged addresses and promised to stay in touch. While they were in the city, I met his wife again. She was recovering well.

It’s true that God works in mysterious ways. It never hurts to be nice to people. Who knows, when and where, they come back to help you like an angel.

Be the ‘Alpha’

Out of 7.6 billion of us today in the ever blossoming world, how many of you stop to have a glance around? Ever noticed an exceedingly attractive man, the so called ‘Alpha-Male’? I was careful not to use the word ‘handsome’ as it has little to do with the aforementioned. But is there really such a thing as a human alpha male? If there is , then how to be one ? Lets find out.

WHAT IS AN ALPHA?

First off, Alphas are those at the top of the social status hierarchy. They have greater access to power, money, and mates, which they gain through physical prowess, intimidation, and domination. Alphas are typically described as the “real men.” In contrast are the “Beta” males: the weak, submissive, subordinate guys who are low status, and only get access to mates once women decide to settle down and go searching for a “nice guy.” A clichéd example would be James Bond 007- fights the bad guys, is smart, witty, intelligent, knows severals dances, can converse in over 20 different languages and has a way with the ladies.

WHY BE THE ALPHA?

Why? This really shouldn’t be a question worth answering, but I still will. It’s because – Alphas win! The alpha is persistent. There’s no quit in this man. He’s the tortoise not the hare. If he sets his eye on something, the world may collapse, but he will get it. He’s the last man standing. He goes after what he wants, even if the whole world stares him down. He is stubborn and is in it until the end. He’s also open-minded and willing to listen to others points’ of view. When he knows he’s flawed, he gives way and learns from people who are better than him. The alpha male knows how to treat a lady. He respects women, often because he’s had some great one’s in his life. He’s chivalrous man. Though he worships the ground his lady walks on, he knows how to pick ’em. He has style. He takes pride in how he looks and people respect him for that. He also knows how to dress like a man. The alpha male has a purpose. This may be his most defining trait. Where many wander through life trying to find their Self, the alpha male is too busy creating his Self. Every day he does something to bring himself closer to his goal.

HOW TO BE AN ALPHA?

Someone once rightly said — “Being great in today’s world is easy, because the majority is busy in being average.” This statement is all true. One need not bring out radical changes in oneself to be the Alpha. Hell, forget about being the alpha, be you. Be what you were made to be. Find a goal and be passionate about it. Be it gymming, acing at sports, studies, theater — anything. Toil day and night. Goals define your purpose in life. Work, sweat, slog — do what you may to achieve it. Refuse to bow down to its daunting nature. What’s stopping you? The thing thats stopping you is, you. Excuses sound best to the ones who make them.You have the knowledge, the support and the discipline to get it done. The fruit of everything good in life begins with a challenge. Challenge yourself to be better than what you were yesterday. Everything is uphill thats worthwhile. Tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow — there ain’t no such thing as tomorrow. You only got today. Rise and grind. And then, watch the world transcend to your demands. Life will begin to make sense, people start to notice you. There is no taming you now. You are so dedicated, you are oblivious to the remarks/comments of your peers. You become a winner in every sense. And in the pursuit, see yourself mould into an Alpha.

Harvey Specter from Suits.

Be the man you ought to be – BE, THE ALPHA!

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